A bride has been slammed for expecting her sister-in-law to foot the bill at a fancy restaurant for her bachelorette party.
In a now-viral Reddit post, u/goodneighbourta, 25, explained that she and her husband, 26, have well-paid jobs in tech. Because of this, his sister assumed that they would cover the costs of a meal at a high-end restaurant.
A stock image of a woman who is unhappy with the bill. A woman has been backed by the internet after refusing to pay for her sister-in-law’s bachelorette party. pashyksv/iStock/Getty Images Plus
BACH, a website for organizing bachelor and bachelorette parties, says: “Typically, the Maid of Honor and bridesmaids split the cost of the bachelorette party. The bride’s expenses (including her drinks, meals, and transportation) are split evenly between the bridal party.”
The woman wrote on Reddit that the bill was close to $1,000 but was under the impression that the other seven guests, including the sister, would pay their share, too.
However, the sister-in-law, 28, who is referred to as a “golden child,” suggested the original poster pays as a wedding gift as they are “well-off”.
Explaining their family dynamic, the Redditor wrote: “Growing up my in-laws coddled her and gave her everything that she wanted while my husband always got the s**** end of the stick. She was always the popular girl in school, a cheerleader, lots of friends, all the boys loved her. While my husband was always a little [nerdier] and got picked on quite a bit, even my in-laws would give him a hard time about this and say he needed to be “more like his sister”.”
The poster wrote that the husband went on to get a degree while his sister still lives at the family home with her 4-year-old daughter. She also added it is her second marriage.
The wife explained the awkward moment at the meal. The sister-in-law referred to the Redditor and her husband as the “wealthiest” in the family and therefore assumed the bill wouldn’t be a problem.
The poster wrote: “I told her “well sorry but I’m not your parents, don’t expect handouts from me”. She called me selfish and I called her an entitled brat, paid for my half of the bill, and left.”
After the meal, the mother-in-law and other family members got involved, and they were “furious.”
The poster added: “[They] are expecting me to apologize for the comments. I told them over my dead body. [My] husband is 100% on my side, and we are debating on not going to the wedding. I was talking to my mom and she thinks I took it too far with the comments, and should just apologize to keep the peace.”
Sam Cooper, a contributor at Find a Restaurant, a UK-based eatery guide, told Newsweek his opinion about the post that has 13,800 upvotes.
Cooper said: “Contemporary dining etiquette is to anticipate either splitting the bill evenly or to cover your portion of the bill. Unless explicitly stated beforehand, you should never visit a restaurant expecting someone else to cover your fair share.
“Just because someone else has a higher income does not mean they have a higher disposable income, nor should they be expected to foot your portion of the bill,” he added.
“In my experience, the main grey area with regard to splitting the bill is to do with birthday meals. Some people believe that the birthday guest should have their share covered equally by the other guests, whereas other diners might expect that because they were invited to celebrate, the birthday guest will cover the whole bill,” Cooper said.
“In all situations, the best way to avoid awkwardness is to raise the topic before any food has been ordered. The offer should always be genial and well-meaning, as everyone has different expectations as to what counts as polite dining etiquette.”
More than 1,500 people have commented on the post since it was shared on March 1.
One user wrote: “Don’t apologize. No matter how much money you make, you are not expected to:
- Contribute to your SIL’s wedding…
- Foot the bill for an entire bachelorette party that you were attending as a guest
- De-escalate her temper tantrum once she didn’t get her way
The burden of paying for a bachelorette party usually falls on the Maid of Honor and Bridesmaids (and arranged for ahead of time!!!) or the Bride.”
“I applaud the shiny spine on [the original poster.] Well done! Too many people let the entitled AHs [a******s] get away with awful behaviors in the name of keeping [the] peace. We should all aspire to be more like [the original poster],” posted a second.
Another user commented: “And you know that IF [the original poster] had paid, even though the bridezilla said this would be their present, she would be expecting “an actual wedding day” present too.”
Newsweek reached out to u/goodneighbourta for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
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