A post about a woman accused of attempting to “ruin” her stepsister’s upcoming nuptials after telling her parents “the truth” about her fiancé has gone viral on Reddit, where it received 10,100 upvotes at the time of writing.
The post shared by the 28-year-old woman, who has since deleted her Reddit account, said she and her 29-year-old stepsister Jen, her fiancé Pete and her parents recently attended the wedding of the poster’s old colleague.
According to the poster, “Pete was a little over-friendly at the reception, which I put down to alcohol. Later in the evening though, I was outside getting some air and Pete came out and basically propositioned me. I made it clear I was extremely uncomfortable and went back inside.
“The next day I called Jen and told her everything. She accused me of trying to ruin her relationship…” the poster said.
Could the engagement in the latest Reddit post be in danger of being canceled?
According to a survey of 1,000 Americans aged between 20 and 60, conducted by the diamond buyers WP Diamonds, 20 percent of all engagements are called off before the wedding, Best Life reported in May 2018.
A stock image of two women arguing with each other on a sofa. A post about a woman accused of ruining her stepsister’s relationship has gone viral on Reddit. iStock / Getty Images Plus
But even if the engaged couple in the latest Reddit post were to make it to their wedding, could the stepsister trust her partner to be faithful in their marriage?
An August 2017 study in the peer-reviewed Archives of Sexual Behavior found that “personal engagement in ESI [extradyadic sexual involvement i.e., having sexual relations with someone other than their partner]” increased the risk of “serial infidelity in subsequent relationships.”
The woman who shared the latest Reddit post said she first met Pete as a colleague, when she and Jen worked at her stepdad’s company from the ages of 22 to 26.
“Everyone in the office would joke about Pete having a crush on me, but I never saw him like that and he never said anything so I didn’t pay much attention to the possibility,” the poster said.
But “things got a bit awkward with Pete,” after the poster began dating her now-husband.
She and Pete did not really stay in touch after the poster left the company but they followed each other on social media, through which she found out he was dating Jen. Her stepsister and Pete got engaged last year and her stepfather agreed to pay for the wedding.
When the poster told Jen about what happened with Pete, she said the poster “shouldn’t make the whole situation worse by telling her dad,” since she has “already done enough to sabotage her relationships.”
A few weeks ago during a Skype video call with her parents, who talked about Pete and the wedding, the poster said “my face must have changed because they immediately asked if something was wrong.”
She “insisted it was nothing,” but it turned out her parents had “seen Pete follow me out at the wedding…after 20 minutes of them thinking the worst, I told them the truth.”
The woman begged the parents to refrain from doing anything about it, since Jen and Pete “worked it out.” But Jen’s dad was “livid” and refused to pay for the wedding or even attend it.
The poster said: “Jen has been calling and texting me, and posting on social media about what a horrible person I am for ruining her wedding…my friends say I did nothing wrong, but my stepdad is now not speaking to Jen, and her whole wedding has been canceled because of me, so I do feel guilty. AITA [am I the a******]?”
Chad Steele, a licensed professional counselor (LPC) with Thriveworks, a therapy psychiatry services provider, told Newsweek that the poster in the latest Reddit thread is not “the bad guy” here.
He said, “Pete came after her (alcohol isn’t an excuse for one’s choices)” and her parents already had their suspicions about him, so the stepsister blaming the poster for ruining her relationship is “bogus.”
The only thing the poster may have “ruined” was her stepsister’s chance to “take half his assets after he cheated on her during their marriage,” the LPC said.
Steele added: “I’m sure she and her father have complex issues that have existed since before the poster and her mom entered their lives.
“My advice to the poster is this: You told the truth. Stand tall in that. Just because you’re not close to her doesn’t mean you’d hurt her on purpose. If she continues to be toxic on social media, block her. Focus on the people in your life who want to have a good relationship with you. They will be the ones to support you through this difficult time,” he said.
Several users on Reddit sided with the original poster.
In a comment that got 22,100 upvotes user One-Awareness3671 said: “NTA [not the a******], the wedding has not been canceled because of you, it’s been canceled because of Pete. I doubt this is the first time Pete did this to a woman, and that’s why your parents thought the worst of what happened. This was probably the last straw.
In a comment that got 3,900 upvotes, user bostonfenwaybark said: “Pete caused everything to go south! Not OP [original poster]! NTA!”
User GirlyInTheGreenScarf said: “NTA,…you TRIED to not say anything. You didn’t just blab it to your parents. They SAW this slimy man follow you out and you return upset. The only reason you told was to set the record straight so to speak [because] their assumptions were worse than what happened. You were trying to make it better…”
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