A woman has divided opinion after revealing that she didn’t tell her boyfriend that she owns the house they live in.
The 26-year-old took to Reddit‘s r/AmITheA****** forum to ask for advice after the argument with her boyfriend.
As her roommate had recently moved out and her boyfriend’s lease had expired, she invited him to live with her.
“He agreed and he moved in about 3 weeks ago, the issue began when he started to ask how much his half of the rent was,” the woman said. “I responded and said rent wasn’t an issue and that it’s just easier for me to continue with how it was before he moved in. He was taken back but we agreed to split water, electricity, groceries etc. 50/50.”
A file photo of a young couple arguing, with the exterior of a house (inset). A woman has divided opinion after revealing that she didn’t tell her boyfriend that she owns the house they live in. Filmstax/peterspiro/Getty Images
Things were going well until some family came to visit on a weekend and her dad asked her about interest rates and how it would impact her mortgage.
Her boyfriend overhead the conversation, and after everyone left, they had an argument.
“He was upset that I didn’t tell him that I owned my house,” she wrote. “He feels as if I lied to him and deceived him, he’s upset because he feels like I betrayed his trust.”
Census bureau data from 2022 revealed that just over 65 percent of homes in the U.S. are occupied by homeowners, while about 34 percent are rented.
Costs for those in the rental market skyrocketed in 2022 when the median monthly U.S. rent hit $2,000. But expenses for homeowners have risen, too, as mortgage rates hit a 20-year high in 2022, making it unsurprising that many young adults are struggling to get into the property market.
The homeowner said she understood her boyfriend was upset but didn’t see why he was so worried.
“I do see where he’s coming from but I don’t think it’s that big of a deal, I was eventually going to tell him I just didn’t think I absolutely had to tell him in that moment,” she said. “Most of my friends are telling me that I should have told him before he moved in but a few of them firmly believe that it wasn’t a huge deal.”
Landlord-Tenant Attorney Altagracia Pierre-Outerbridge, founder of New York city-based law firm Outerbridge Law P.C., told Newsweek: “The woman in this situation could have been more upfront about owning the house they both live in, especially when her boyfriend asked about his share of the rent. It’s understandable that she may have felt uncomfortable discussing her financial situation, but it’s important to be transparent with your partner when living together and sharing expenses.
“It’s important for couples to be open and honest about their finances from the beginning of their relationship, especially if they plan to live together or share expenses. Being transparent about financial matters can help build trust and prevent misunderstandings down the line.”
But in more than 1.9K comments on the Reddit post, users sided with the homeowner and said that she was not in the wrong.
“NTA [not the a******],” said one reply. “You aren’t married to him, you’re not charging him rent, and there’s no pressing need for him to know you’re buying the house. Tell your friends to lay off. If he can’t handle the fact that you’re buying a house and he can’t even rent one send him on his way.”
Another said: “I don’t understand what his problem is. What about this information is scandalous or negatively affects him?”
But others felt that the woman should have been more open with her partner.
One commenter said: “When anyone, a partner especially, breaks your trust, it can feel so violating. YTA. You should have told him.”
In a later update the Redditor said: “This was the only thing my man didn’t know about me, owning my home is a privilege I never thought I’d ever achieve so when I tell people I feel uncomfortable because I don’t want it to appear like I’m ‘flexing.'”
But after a discussion with her boyfriend, they had managed to find common ground after the argument.
“I’ve profusely apologized and admitted it was dumb to not be truthful and forthcoming and because he’s the greatest guy ever has forgiven me,” she said.
Newsweek reached out to the poster u/enily11 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
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