A woman kicking a guest out of her house because of her repeated use of a kinky nickname is being applauded online.
In a post to Reddit‘s Am I the A******? (AITA) forum, user u/throwawayparty said she’d organized a small hangout for 15 people, all in their early to mid-twenties. Everything was fine, until an acquaintance arrived with her boyfriend.
“We were all sitting around in the main room and eating pizza when she came to sit and sat on her boyfriend’s lap. A little weird since there were open seats, but I didn’t say anything,” she wrote.
“While we were talking as a group, she would always refer to her boyfriend as ‘daddy.’
“She would interject with things like ‘daddy just bought me a new stand mixer’ and ‘daddy looks so handsome in this shirt right! I told him to get it!'”
A file photo of a group of friends having an argument while drinking beer. The couple’s behavior was making other guests uncomfortable. MangoStar_Studio/iStock/Getty Images Plus
At first, throwawayparty thought the woman was “joking with them,” but as the night wore on, the sexual connotations of the pet name made guests squirm.
“She continued doing it and the rest of us were side-eyeing each other and were kind of uncomfortable,” she said.
She asked her to stop calling her boyfriend “daddy,” but she didn’t take the news well.
“She got upset and told me to stop making such a big deal over a nickname and slut-shaming her,” she said.
“I told her that wasn’t my intention at all, but I would appreciate it if she could stop because it was killing the vibe.”
In response, the woman started “ranting,” so the poster told the couple to leave.
“Her boyfriend was p***** too but they eventually got out,” she said.
“The rest of the evening was less uncomfortable and way more peaceful (a few of my friends who didn’t know the girl I kicked out thanked me for making her leave), but we all felt kind of awkward because of what happened. AITA?”
Reddit users were “disturbed” by the woman’s behavior, with the post receiving over 9,500 upvotes and more than 1,000 comments.
Is ‘Daddy’ Ever an Acceptable Pet Name for Your Boyfriend?
Although open-mindedness is a good thing, is it acceptable to use sexual nicknames in public? According to Bat Sheva Marcus, sex therapist and the author of How to Have the Sex You’ve Always Wanted, the answer is “Hell Yes”—but there’s a time and a place.
“[It’s fine] if you are at a kink party, a swinging party, an orgy, or any public place where it has been made clear that those types of names are welcome,” she told Newsweek.
Marcus said that pet names are designed to build intimacy, which is what makes them so meaningful. However, some things should be kept behind closed doors.
A file photo of two women arguing on a sofa. The poster asked the guest to stop calling her boyfriend “Daddy,” leading to an argument. AntonioGuillem/iStock/Getty Images Plus
“Using them in public runs the risk of making people uncomfortable, because they feel that they are witnessing what is essentially a private encounter,” she said.
Using sexual pet names—or any other form of sexual interaction—in public is a form of exhibitionism. There is nothing wrong with that, as long as you’re taking in the comfort levels of those around you.
“When you use explicitly sexual names or kink names, onlookers are being included in a part of your sexual experience,” Marcus explained.
“[It’s] just unfair to impose it on people who haven’t expressed interest in being voyeurs.”
‘You Explained Your Boundaries and They Chose to Ignore It’
Reddit users didn’t agree with the woman using a sexual nickname at a friendly gathering, with CoffeeSpoon123 calling it “disturbing.”
“Daddy/slut” is how a particular dynamic is often known,” said aLittleQueer. “It’s 100% a kink dynamic. Which would be fine…in private.”
Kathrynlena agreed, writing: “It honestly sounds like she was forcing everyone to participate in her kink without their consent.”
FleurJorinde said: “You explained your boundaries and they chose to ignore it.”
Technical-Soup-1595 wrote: “As a person who partakes in age play and other kinks…..dear god you have just violated the consent of every single person in the room by using that type of nickname/honorific when discussing your partner.”
While BhalliTempest commented: “Consent is the monarch of the Kink community. You expressed discomfort. It should have ended there. Period.”
Newsweek reached out to u/throwawayparty for comment. We couldn’t verify the details of the case.
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